Samoan-born, New Zealand-raised director Sima Urale has made a film about a woman whose heart has made her weak and blind to reality. The story of The Tender Trap is about a woman in her fifties who is tricked by a romance scam and falls in love with someone who is clearly not what he claims to be. Yet, she is convinced that his intentions are pure and her conviction that this is true love sends her on a journey that ends up being devastating for her and her family. Sima Urale has made a cautionary tale that focuses on one woman’s story, but one which could potentially happen to all of us.

Your current film The Tender Trap is based on a true story. Why was this story about Sharon Armstrong and what happened to her interesting to you?

What appealed to me most about the story is that it reveals how fragile the human heart is: Sharon could be any one of us, she is a professional and smart woman and yet she was still pulled into this horrific and terrifying scam. I think it goes to show how our hearts can be easily swayed – I mean, don’t we all want to be loved? Or maybe we all love the feeling of being ‘in love’ – it’s like a drug. More terrifying is that it’s a lot more common than we might like to think, maybe not always as extreme as Sharon’s case, but it happens to men and women, young and old from all backgrounds. Maybe our heart is what makes us weak as humans, but then it’s also the thing that makes us human too. When Sharon’s story first hit the news, it was very easy for everyone to judge her predicament, even scoff at her for being conned, but it could just as easily happen to you or me. As the saying goes – ‘Love can be blind’, a meaning that we can all understand because it’s only natural when we allow ourselves to be swept away and be happy in that space of being in love. It’s a cautionary tale that I hope communicates how vulnerable the human heart really is.  

Social issues are close to your heart. In The Tender Trap, they seem to be family-oriented. What kinds of social issues did you find you wanted to touch upon in The Tender Trap?

Although the story focuses on Sharon, it explores how her actions and the scam itself impacts the family. It’s actually a family crisis, not just on an emotional level but financially as well, very much like a family dealing with a member with a drug addiction. It’s truly incredible when a total stranger can break years of bond and trust between family members, but the lesson, in the end, is that no matter what crises – it’s nearly always family that will be there for you when you fall. Can you imagine entire families being broken down due to circumstances like this? It doesn’t just affect the person they are scamming, it also affects their loved ones, their children and friends. It’s a form of ‘grooming’ I guess, just like predators do with children, and adults can be just as vulnerable to being groomed. When one thinks about it, it’s really an age-old story of being conned and betrayed, the only difference is that it’s moved online, and I believe it’s going to get worse in the future. The only way to try and combat it is to educate and inform people through stories like Sharon’s, raising awareness whether it’s people selling things at your door, email and phone scams to dating scams – it’s scary because you can see the rabbit hole that someone like Sharon went down, so it’s something we all need to be socially aware of. It’s so scary that I believe it should be taught at school in the same way we tell our children not to take candy from a stranger.

The film is also about a woman’s relationship with her daughters. Is this dynamic something that interests you to portray?

It’s a woman’s story, which is another aspect that appealed to me. For me, the daughter relationship highlights that special bond between parent and child, but that even this special bond can be jeopardized by a stranger that knows how to break it. That’s the real tragedy, how this kind of insidious type of grooming can harm our relationships and loved ones. I’m sure there are mother’s out there having to deal with daughters who are being scammed right now, so although the story is based on a middle-aged professional, it’s just as much a warning for daughters – the younger generation. It’s this younger generation that is more susceptible to being scammed as they grow up with smartphones and the internet where online dating has been ‘normalized’ for them. It’s weird to think that these scammers – total strangers can reach right into our homes and bedrooms.  

You are Samoan-born and immigrated to New Zealand and you have brought stories of Pacific people to the screen. Talk about the importance for you of telling these stories?

We have the biggest Polynesian population in the world, including Maori who is indigenous to New Zealand (Aotearoa), so I feel very fortunate that our varied languages and cultures are acknowledged and celebrated here. For a long time, it was very rare to see our faces on the screen, but that has changed throughout the years as more and more Maori and Pacific storytellers have emerged. Particularly for minorities and indigenous peoples, it’s important to be seen on the screen whether it’s TV or cinema because it makes you ‘feel’ like part of the landscape rather than feeling alien in your own country. It captures a sense of belonging when you see that you are part of a story rather than being left out or absent altogether, and why it’s critical to have diverse filmmakers bring a different perspective and voice. These days, we are all over the NZ screens and it would be strange if we weren’t, I think this shows how we have evolved as a country with a unique identity which makes me proud. In saying that, we still have a way to go with many more stories to tell from Aotearoa.

Talk about how your cultural background influences your art. Is it important to you?

I’m kind of a free-thinking hybrid, definitely proud of my roots but not a traditionalist. My family has never been traditional, even in a village setting we weren’t a normal Samoan family. We didn’t go to church like the 98 percent of Samoans do and my parents were regularly fined with pigs or money. Then when we immigrated to New Zealand, we weren’t normal here either because we grew up with parents whose roles were reversed, our father did our washing and cooked and was more maternal, while my mother was the breadwinner – a teacher. I think growing up doing what makes us happy rather than what culture dictates has helped to shape my siblings and me, most of us are outspoken and are in the arts or media. Still, I value culture deeply but it doesn’t have to dictate what I want to do in life or the films that I make. However, having dual contrasting cultures has helped me to be more empathetic to other cultures, having directed a film with an Indian and Kiwi cast of characters, to a Somalian Muslim immigrant story.

As a female director, is it important to you to tell female stories like Sharon Armstrong’s story?

I do believe we need more women stories and women filmmakers, but to be honest, I often go for thematic storytelling, stories that convey a message rather than gauging a story by gender. Being a woman, naturally, I am approached to direct stories about women, so it’s not something I need to necessarily push for. Now that I think about it, I do get more women than men approach me about their ideas and scripts, mind you, there are still not many women filmmakers, so maybe it comes down to a lack of choice! Sharon’s story was so compelling, I knew it needed to be told.

Do you think that women have a different voice and a different way of communicating when it comes to the art of film?

I think women do have a different voice; we tend to be more interested in character-driven stories rather than plot-driven ones like a lot of films by men. It’s even more evident when I lecture in film now and again, you can really see the contrast between men and women stories, but every now and then, you can get some men that are amazingly empathetic with female characters and women who relate well to male characters.

As a female director, do you think you have different challenges from your male colleagues?

I’ve always found my biggest challenge to be myself and not others. In all honesty, and maybe this is down to my upbringing, I’ve never really felt men to be a challenge! I was interviewed once and asked what it was like being in a male-dominated industry, and my response was ‘I don’t have a problem telling men what to do’. I don’t think I’m bossy though, I just see men as equals, no better and no less, the Queen of England is no different to the person street cleaning down the road – I see everyone as the same. I have had some amazing offers and opportunities, but being who I am, I generally turn them down because I am just not that interested. I can’t say there has been any difference in challenges to my male colleagues, except maybe in attitudes because I do find that my colleagues are more likely to say yes to the same opportunities. Some might say it’s a lack of confidence, but for myself, I think we’re just a lot pickier with projects.

Your first film O Tamaiti won a Silver Lion for Best Short Film at the Venice Film Festival in 1996. How important was this for your career?

For a first short film, straight out the gate, it did extremely well, winning eight international awards and screenings worldwide which was amazing. It’s a Samoan film with subtitles and I think it even took New Zealand by surprise because back then, I don’t think we as a country really valued our unique Pacific voice and cultures. It was a film that critiques my own culture about the treatment of children, but I always knew it would resonate with a broader audience because of its core themes. It’s kind of arthouse and was a different way of expressing an indigenous story. I had a lot of interest and offers, even from Hollywood, but it was only my first short film and felt I still have too many stories to tell in New Zealand.

Do you have female role models in New Zealand or elsewhere in the world?

Yes! I think most New Zealanders would have to agree, our very young and third female Prime Minister Jacinda Adern is truly incredible, especially during this last year with Covid. Like any woman with a sick child, she was quick with her Covid response by locking down the country with some of the harshest lockdowns in the world, ensuring to take care of all international visitors, almost instant financial support for everyone from businesses, families, and those without jobs. Her early and quick response has meant that we have been living quite normal since the initial lockdown. I really believe that her being a woman has made all the difference, that people’s lives were at the forefront of her mind and not the economy like so many other countries headed by men. New Zealand was the first self-governing nation in the world to grant women the right to vote in 1893, so maybe Jacinda is only a natural progression, if so, nothing makes me prouder than our female Prime Minister making history with her new baby attending the United Nations Assembly.

What are your goals for the future in terms of filmmaking?

I think I just want to be doing what I like doing to the day I die. These days, I love gardening like so many who discovered it during the lockdown. Sometimes I like to paint and sometimes I write, and now and again I will get the itch to direct and make a film. It all depends, a story might come to mind, or someone might bring me a story that I can’t resist. Now, I have a screenplay to write, mentoring filmmakers, taking workshops as well as teach at a film school. I am also attached to a project as one of many producers, which is really exciting. There are currently a few projects being offered to me, which I will mull on, but will probably decline because I prefer to be stress-free and happy for the moment. I feel extremely fortunate that I have options, that I have choices that I can do what I choose to do. There isn’t always money but yet my life feels very privileged. I feel privileged that I can express what I want, or support and realize someone else’s story that I believe in and needs to be told, like Sharon’s story that I hope can make a difference in some family’s life. It sounds corny but it’s true.