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LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – JUNE 09: Pamela Adlon attends the Los Angeles Confidential Magazine Impact Awards at The Line Hotel on June 09, 2019 in Los Angeles, California.(Photo by Jean Baptiste Lacroix/Getty Images)
  • Interviews

Pamela Adlon: “Menopause Sucks”

font-family:"Bell MT",serif’>has it all under control. The Golden Globe-nominated star of Better Things 12.0pt;font-family:"Bell MT",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext;background:white’> the semi-autobiographical dramedy that skewers the foibles and neuroses of the showbiz set. Adlon herself grew up in a show business family, living and breathing the bi-coastal lifestyle and going on to a distinguished acting career, especially as a voice actor. Now, past her forties, she has discovered new skills as a multi-hyphenate as the creative force behind the series
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mso-themecolor:text1;background:white’>In the fourth season of
12.0pt;font-family:"Bell MT",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:black;mso-themecolor:text1;background:white’>, she reprises the role of
Sam Fox, a single mother, who raises three eccentric and thoroughly outspoken girls played by This is the fourth season of Better Things and you are a multi-tasker on this show. What has creating this series taught you professionally?

It has taught me everything because as somebody who literally grew up in this business, it has made me realize that I can do things that I never even imagined that I could before. It has been an unbelievably exponential period of growth to come out on this side of things and be the boss. It just feels incredibly satisfying. All these skills that I never thought I should work on or be able to have are happening for me. It has been quite an experience.

Can you give an example of a skill you never thought you would have?

I never really had aspirations to direct. I never could imagine that I would be able to get there and be in a position to do so. I have been writing my whole life but I never really realized that I could make a living doing it. These are all things that happened to me later in my life and I am so grateful to be able to serve my vision in this way. It is a gift. It really is.

The show is more or less based on your own life – you have a British mother, you are an actress and you are a single mother with three daughters. I assume this has also been a reflective process. What has it taught you about your personal life?

I always joke that FX is paying for my therapy. I can work things out in my stories in my show that can help me psychologically and help my friends. It is not just my story. I am telling a lot of people’s stories in the show and that is an incredibly satisfying experience. And when I hear from people who say: ‘I am a 25-year old man and I don’t have a family and kids and I cannot relate to you but I relate to everything on the show.’

What does the writers’ room of Better Things look like? Please reveal a little about the process of writing and what kind of a boss you are?

I like to shepherd my writers. I like to start with certain ideas and say: ‘tell me five funny things that happened to you this summer’ or something like that and we go from there. We are having a dialogue and it is a very fruitful way to hang out. At the end of the hangout, you all go to separate corners and work on drafts.

In the beginning of season 4, you take us on a little tour in rainy Los Angeles – we pass the Iliad bookstore, a lifeguard house on the beach and Venice boardwalk. Then we get to the house and see the effect of the rain on Sam – is this a sign that we are seeing her in a transitional phase?

For me, it was a very kind of cleansing, healing time that we went through in Los Angeles with all that rain. I never imagined that we would have it again during this season we are in now. It is just a renewal and rebirth so it was a great way to start the season. When I was in the writers room, that was the first thing that I said to the writers: ‘It is raining the whole time’.

Speaking of Los Angeles. How significant was it for you to shoot in Los Angeles and which locations in the city are your favorites?

I really fight for my locations and I love showing the places that are very meaningful to me. When I shot at the Apple Pan, I was thinking of when we first moved to Los Angeles me and my family was sitting at the counter and eating there. It did not necessarily make it easy for my first AD to plan the location but we kept pushing it. Shooting at the Iliad was just magical of course. I loved it. I shot at a place called Tacos Mexico which is just really good Mexican food in the Valley, cheap, off the beaten path and not fancy. We shot in Venice on the boardwalk. These places make Los Angeles wonderful to me.

Sam is getting older and so are her kids. They will soon leave home. The girls have reached a stage where they worry about their mother being alone and want her to go on a dating site. How would you describe this stage Sam’s her life?

Well, the girls think that they know what is best for their mother, but Sam does not want any part of it. She is happy. She told the girls in the beginning that she is very content. It is funny because children deal with their own guilt about their parents and maybe they are having a little bit of love for their mother but it is up to people to interpret that.

Sam is very open about menopause at the end of season 4. Menopause is not something we often talk a lot about. Why was it important for you to talk about it here?

Just for that exact reason. Nobody ever talks to young girls about menopause. I barely had any knowledge of what was going to happen to me when I got my period, so this is something that really can throw you for a loop. So as people start talking about it and normalizing it, so it will not be this forbidden taboo thing that happens to women that nobody wants to talk about, which is completely unfair and ridiculous.

How is menopause for you?

Oh, I am way too young to have menopause. I am kidding… It snuck up on me. I started getting hot flashes at night and I remembered that I had a friend who was a little bit ahead of me and she would talk about it and would think: ‘Oh this is that. This is the menopause thing’. It is just a change in your body. For men it is called ‘getting older’ and for women it is called ‘it sucks’.

How many seasons do you hope to do of Better Things?

I don’t have a plan right now because of Corona, and I don’t even know what to think. It is just such a weird time.

How are you coping during the lockdown?

I have good days and very productive days and I am writing a movie right now. I am developing stuff for other people. I talked to my friend a week ago, who said: ‘I don’t feel like I want to be so productive all the time’ and I realized I was being too productive. So the next day, I took a shot of vodka at 2 o’clock and I watched every episode of Tiger King. I loved it. It is a must-see.